Mental Wellness for Mothers: Why it Matters Most

What are the words most often used to describe a mother?  Strong. Brave. Patient. Perfect.  And yet - mother to mother - we know the inside truths, sometimes we struggle with our mental wellness.  Mothers aren’t always strong and brave.  Mothers aren’t always patient or perfect.  And who  is there when mothers need a helping hand? When mothers need a time out for themselves? When mothers are up late at night feeding babies, doing laundry,  cleaning house, and worrying about their children? Mothers need a time out – in the best possible sense of the word – and daily. The best way to honor our mothers is to honor their needs for rest and wellbeing.

How Does Motherhood Affect Mental Health?

Mental health is a real issue for mothers. When I was a new mom for the first time, and now a mom of three, I can attest to this fact. National statistics say that one in five mothers struggle with mental health issues. One in five. Anxiety, depression, and wellness concerns are a consistent denominator in motherhood today. Being a mother today encompasses:

• A myriad of new responsibilities

  • Birthing a child brings new maternal responsibilities. Mothers take on feeding, changing, loving, protecting, and caring fully for another tiny human. That can bring a wealth of new fears and concerns that can overload current functioning and life balance.

• A surge of shifting hormones and physical changes

  • Up to 80% of new mothers experience baby blues and  postpartum mood changes. This is natural, given the extreme fluctuations in hormones that occur surrounding the birthing experience.  Yet, how much grace and understanding do we give mothers in these situations and how much support do we connect them to in managing it all?

• Finding balance in personal, career, and home needs

  • Mothers have traditionally juggled multiple roles and responsibilities; the home, meals, budgeting, schooling,  career…and now a new baby. While trying to balance it all, mothers and their mental wellness often come last.

How Can a Mother Improve Mental Health?

Being a mother and raising a young child in the world today is a daunting task. There are so many life stressors, learning needs, and skills to learn. How do you address it all? With three young children now, one being only three months old. I realize even more how imperative it is to address maternal mental wellness. For myself and for other mothers.  Mothers deserve time, care, and mental wellness too: 

• Time

  • Mothers have a need and a right to daily time for themselves. Make it a priority for: a daily bath or shower, five to ten minutes of meditation, or a coffee/snack with a good friend. Release the pressure to hold it all together. Begin to fill your own cup of needs. 

• Care

  • Mothers deserve care – not just their babies. Learn to be gentle with yourself, your expectations, and demands after baby. Mothers can and should come first at times. Caring for yourself directly relates to caring for your baby.

• Mental Wellness

  • Mothers benefit from a good mental health tune up regularly. To establish support on the outside AND inside.  This could mean joining a support group for new mothers, building new ways to cope, or pursuing counseling to address more intensive support needs..

Mental Wellness Activities for Mothers

Now that we KNOW about the importance of maternal mental health, what can we do about it? To all my mothers out there: now is the time to take action for YOU!  From one busy mother to another - I feel you in the, “I don’t have time” department. But really, if you don’t make time for your mental health, what does that say about your current wellness? Here are a few of my “go to” ideas to take some time for oneself:

• Breathing techniques 

  • You can do these anywhere!  Breathing physiologically relaxes us from the inside out. Circle breathing, square breathing, balloon and belly breathing - all great skills to pass on to your children as well!

• Get tech-savvy

  • Technology lets us set alarms on our phones, input dates in our calendars, and set reminders for ourselves. So why not use that time for YOU?  Schedule weekly “mommy mental health” checks to take care of you. Whether it be time to just breathe, to read a chapter in a favorite book, or another enjoyment, you deserve it!

• Mindful minutes

  • Practicing mindfulness is a quality method of increasing our own self compassion. Take a few minutes daily to clear your headspace, ground in the present, and realize the beauty in each moment. 

• Yoga and meditation

  • Movement matters too in maternal mental  health! Get in touch with greater health by looking into yoga and meditation practices. Not only can you stretch and strengthen your body, but you can learn how to better harness and hold your mind and soul. There are a variety of options for mothers and children as well!

• Walking

  • That thing about movement matters -  yes, it does for your best mental wellness. Babies are consistently demanding, and helping them (and us) find a schedule of movement is imperative.  Take yourself on walks regularly - baby can be in carrier or stroller and bonding can still occur! Nature does amazing things for the soul.

New Mother Mental Wellness

Women of every background, socioeconomic status, and walk of life can struggle with mental health issues, but especially new mothers. New mothers walk into a unique set of challenges : managing a new baby, shifting of balance inside the home, figuring out career and financial support needs, and so much more. Your mental health and wellness can easily start to crumble without you even knowing.  As a mother of three, I have learned several important things to share:

• Give yourself grace. You don’t have to do it all or be it all. There is no one right way to raise a child, manage a family,  or balance work and personal. We all make mistakes, and learn by doing what we need to adjust and what we want to keep. Recognize and honor what YOU need.

• Recognize your hunger signs!  Try not to just focus on the baby all the time, but get in touch with yourself. Are you physically craving some type of nutrition? Feed it. Are you socially craving more engagement and support? Find it. Are you craving greater mental and emotional health overall? Build it.  A focus on mother’s mental wellness is a focus on better providing for you and your child the best environment possible. 

• Learn about common postpartum health issues, and recognize the signs of needing more help. Perinatal mood and anxiety disorders are very common in mothers - there is a lot of hormonal action that first year postpartum!  Be aware of how anxiety and depression could present themselves as a new mother, and seek the appropriate assistance when needed (group, counselor, maternal health resources).

Mental Wellness Tips for Mothers

All mothers - those new to the transition and those with children moving into adulthood - deserve to be well, in all aspects of health. Sometimes making those shifts and changes in our life can be difficult.  Especially when already set in our own patterns. A few tips to help build mental wellness into your daily schedule:

• Make time for daily movement. Movement on the outside increases wellness on the inside!

• Engage in mindfulness daily. Get in touch with your inner core needs through meditation, a daily gratitude practice, sitting with your inner thoughts and needs - even if it’s just that time in the bathroom!  

• Build in routines that make a difference.  If you don’t sleep, eat, drink, and care for yourself well, you aren’t your best you, and nor is your child. Mother’s mental wellness is directly correlated to physical wellness too!

• Communicate with others. As human beings, we are social creatures, and thrive off of interaction with others. Talk to friends, spend time with family, create connections - virtually and in person. 

Find Your Mental Wellness Why’s

If you haven’t realized it by now, maternal mental health is a crucial need indeed. Mothers can no longer be expected to “carry the weight of the world” in all they do. This shouldn’t have been an expectation in the beginning!  As a mother, YOU can make a difference in your own mental health needs. So, what’s a daily change you can affect today?  Is it taking a walk outside? Is it finding a meditation online and listening to it while feeding the baby? Is it finding a yoga class, in person or online? Is it perhaps journaling and learning new ways to keep your mental wellness in check? Or is it maybe even looking into therapy support, to get to your ultimate maternal mental wellness possibilities?  You CAN do this. You CAN be well - inside and out. Why? Well, because mental health matters...and moms matter most!

If you are in the Mesa area and struggling with motherhood, contact us today to schedule a free consultation. We also provide support for women struggling with trauma, anxiety, and relationships. 

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